Sugar, Cream, & Reality

This morning, as I was sitting down with my cup of coffee, feeling fairly upbeat and positive, I came across a message and picture from a fellow "liver mom," which grabbed hold of me and yanked me back to reality at lightning speed. It was a picture of her baby's blood-soaked diaper related to a GI bleed, which is one of the common problems associated with Elise's liver disease, Biliary Atresia.

Baby Lillian's blood soaked diaper due to GI bleed-  posted with the permission of her mom

Of course, I have often read about varices and GI bleeds, but prior to today, I had not laid my eyes upon the graphic detail. And then, I am optimistic by nature, so I've always told myself, "This won't happen to Elise." But using that logic, I suppose the Biliary Atresia diagnosis would never have happened to Elise. Anyway, I stared at this picture for a while and then began thinking of the solutions....such as "banding the varices."

Well, as I often do, I summoned David and asked him, as a nurse anesthetist, "What exactly is involved in "banding varices?" And as he often does, he gave me the straight-forward, matter-of-fact, not-for-potential-mothers-of-a- GI bleed- patient version. Apparently, he is quite familiar with the banding varices procedure, and he spared no detail. Suffice it to say that I should have just referred to Wikipedia.

Later this morning, I read the wonderful news that one of the other BA babies, whom I think about and pray for daily, "got the call" that there is a liver available, so she is on her way to transplant today!  Then I began thinking about the gut-wrenching wait that this family has endured as their child was listed for her life-saving liver transplant....and at any time, this could be the story of our life.  We have a liver clinic appointment and labs tomorrow. What if they tell us that it's time to list Elise??  Or if not tomorrow, what about next month? And the month after that?

I've always considered myself to have a "Type B Personality," as I am generally fairly relaxed and easy going....just like my dad....if you know my dad. Well if that's the case, then I have Type B Personality with a situational anxiety disorder now.  I wonder if I still have a lower risk of coronary artery disease??