My Thoughts...Restructured...

I have mentioned previously that I am working on getting into a new mindset....the transplant mindset.  Well, it's still a work in progress....restructuring my thoughts. I have come to realize recently that I have been taking a very negative approach when considering transplant.  I was actually equating the need for "transplant" with some sort of failure on my part; For some reason, I think I was under the impression that  Elise would not need a transplant as long as I took care of her in exactly the right way.  So, when her doctor told me he was referring her for a transplant evaluation, it felt like a slap in my face.  Well, my friends, I should never have allowed my beliefs to become so distorted.  

I believe now that the referral for transplant evaluation at this point is a blessing. It is a fact that Elise has liver disease. It is a fact that there are cirrhotic nodules visible on her liver. Dr. Fishman believes that Elise will need a transplant before the age of 2, definitely before the age of 5, so listing her for transplant now will hopefully save us the trauma of watching her get really sick and suffer unnecessarily. I never want to be scrambling to get her listed for transplant, wondering if a liver will be found before it is too late.  

All this is not to say that I don't still wish I could tell the future.  Oh, how I would LOVE to be able to see into the future. I hope and pray that Elise's future is one of health and one free of liver disease post-transplant. Of course, she will always have special medical needs for the rest of her life, but I hope that she will just grow up accustomed to the meds and doctor visits and will always treasure her gift of life.